Facebook is here to stay. Technological advances will continue to emerge. Online access is becoming more and more a way of life, especially for youth who conduct their social lives online as much as (or even more than) offline. What can we, as concerned parents, do? Lock our kids in a bubble? No, that can’t be the solution.
We all want the well being of our kids, and our parenting styles are obviously not all the same. In the case of the internet and the online world, online parenting can take many forms: on one extreme there are parents who say ‘no’ to any form of online interaction, no internet at all. I know of many communities raising their kids with no access to the internet. On the other end of the spectrum, are the parents who trust their kids completely, giving them the full range of freedom to do whatever they like. At this end of the parenting spectrum are also the parents who say “my kid is safe - the bad stuff of the internet does not happen in our home”. The vast majority of parents are somewhere between these two ends of the spectrum.
To these parents – the pragmatic online parents in the middle, I would like to suggest the following:
1. Learn - If you are not familiar with the new online applications, get some orientation and training. If you want to be involved as a parent, you must also be involved online and understand the types of technologies and applications your children are using. Taking classes about the online world is as necessary as taking classes about parenting in the physical world.
2. Educate - Teach the right ways to behave online. If you do not feel comfortable doing it yourself, make sure your kids take some training about the do’s and don’ts of the online world.
3. Dialog - Talk to your kids about the dangers, have an ongoing and open dialog. Make sure your kids understand that you respect their privacy, but that you will be involved when needed.
4. Install Software - Education, training and dialog may be sufficient, depending on the age of the children, and their character . In some cases in may be appropriate, together with the kids, to install software that will raise red flags for you, at times when you need to be involved selectively. Do what is called “managed online parenting”: be involved & monitor by exception, do not spy, do not monitor everything, get involved only when needed. Look for software that is smart enough to alert you on a need basis. In the real world we are involved and intervene when needed, why should we not do that in the online world?
5. Be Flexible - Kids of different ages have different needs. Apply different parenting styles and rules for different ages. Be flexible and tolerant in your reactions and approach. Do not use harsh punishment when something goes wrong, have a dialog, and start over. We are all learning how to adjust our parenting styles in this new technically heavy world.
Good luck and welcome to the world of “modern online parenting”,
Facebook Safety for Kids
Ouri Azoulay
(13/04/2011 1:22 pm)
We all want the well being of our kids, and our parenting styles are obviously not all the same. In the case of the internet and the online world, online parenting can take many forms: on one extreme there are parents who say ‘no’ to any form of online interaction, no internet at all. I know of many communities raising their kids with no access to the internet. On the other end of the spectrum, are the parents who trust their kids completely, giving them the full range of freedom to do whatever they like. At this end of the parenting spectrum are also the parents who say “my kid is safe - the bad stuff of the internet does not happen in our home”. The vast majority of parents are somewhere between these two ends of the spectrum.
To these parents – the pragmatic online parents in the middle, I would like to suggest the following:
1. Learn - If you are not familiar with the new online applications, get some orientation and training. If you want to be involved as a parent, you must also be involved online and understand the types of technologies and applications your children are using. Taking classes about the online world is as necessary as taking classes about parenting in the physical world.
2. Educate - Teach the right ways to behave online. If you do not feel comfortable doing it yourself, make sure your kids take some training about the do’s and don’ts of the online world.
3. Dialog - Talk to your kids about the dangers, have an ongoing and open dialog. Make sure your kids understand that you respect their privacy, but that you will be involved when needed.
4. Install Software - Education, training and dialog may be sufficient, depending on the age of the children, and their character . In some cases in may be appropriate, together with the kids, to install software that will raise red flags for you, at times when you need to be involved selectively. Do what is called “managed online parenting”: be involved & monitor by exception, do not spy, do not monitor everything, get involved only when needed. Look for software that is smart enough to alert you on a need basis. In the real world we are involved and intervene when needed, why should we not do that in the online world?
5. Be Flexible - Kids of different ages have different needs. Apply different parenting styles and rules for different ages. Be flexible and tolerant in your reactions and approach. Do not use harsh punishment when something goes wrong, have a dialog, and start over. We are all learning how to adjust our parenting styles in this new technically heavy world.
Good luck and welcome to the world of “modern online parenting”,
Ouri.
Posted by Ouri Azoulay